Ahh

http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/11/25/movies/25road.html <-- The Road movie review.

^^^sooo excited!

I haven't been this excited for a movie since that porno a few years back...oh wait...umm...awkward.

Cormac Macarthy and Goldfish

I was supposed to register for classes (for the last time!) Monday, but I had to put it off because I hadn't chosen my classes on time. I chose them yesterday, but couldn't register because of Harvest Fest. I couldn't register today because I was doing homework for class. Basically, the universe is telling me I am never going to graduate. I am going to be stuck in Castleton for the rest of my life. I'll become a townie. Maybe I'll even have a small dog named Peaches, with a house on a hill and knitted sweaters and lots of cats. And I'll be like, shit, I still have to register for classes. And I won't be able to, because I'll be too busy cleaning cat barf off the carpet. Sigh. Seriously though, I can't wait for school to be over. Sooo close.

Seriously.

I just creeped on Facebook with my roommates for what, maybe about an hour and a half?
Good lord.
We're creepers.

Har Har

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal:

is it not genius?

Oh hey

You know, sometimes when you least expect it, you have moments of clarity that have the potential to change your outlook on your entire life. I think I had one in the library today. I can't really describe it, except to say that I'm going to finish school the best that I can be, and power forward to accomplish all I want to accomplish. It will happen. I have to believe it.

Sad moments in Human History Pt. 1

Today was one of those days. You know, the kind when you didn't really get much sleep the night before, and when your toast comes out of the toaster a little bit too brown.

I was sitting in Fireside enjoying some chocolate pretzels when an acquaintance of mine from the semester before spotted me and came over to say hi. He is a blond gentleman with pale skin and I think of him very highly. We chatted for about 45 minutes, until his friend came over to say hello. After his friend left, he asked if he had my number. I said probably not. He didn't have his phone so I grabbed mine to take his down and realized...good god. I don't remember his name.

Yeah, it was that kind of day.

Hunger Pangs

Have you ever gone back and read your journal entries from weeks, months, even years ago? It's painful. Really, really painful. Though my entries have always been carefully censored of my deeper emotions, the ones that manage to seep through are pretty ridiculous. Embarrassing, really. It's just a good thing that people don't read this. And if they do, kudos to you for staying my friend. Or at least, interested.

Tom has moved out. That is a good thing, for all of us. Tom especially. He clearly needed a change of scene, and company. Things have lightened up around here since he left, to be honest, and I'm quite happy about it. It's pretty amazing to me how one person's actions can affect a whole host of people at once. When all is said and done, I just hope he's happier now, despite my resentment towards him for his attitude during the months he lived with us. Maybe someday we can be friends again.

Maybe.

I wish I could sleep. I have work tomorrow morning but again, insomnia has set in and all I can do is think. What about? That is none of your business.

I'm enjoying how this post is about nothing at all. And yet I still write. Interesting. Goodnight.

Epiphany?

Maybe the reason I've had so much trouble making "good art" is because, well, in order to make good things you have to properly be in touch with yourself first. Tonight's conversation has proven that I am about as far from that as I could ever be.

The road to self-perfection is a long and hard one, but necessary, regardless.

Taken from my sketchbook (usually written in when drunk)

So it appears I've ultimately fallen into the "Vermonter artist" stereotype/category: constantly drawing, flannel-wearing, occasionally angsty, mild alcoholic. I suppose I might as well accept this. I've spent three years fighting it, and look where it got me; in a giant rut. Now I'm drawing again, painting again (though not well) and I just picked up some rubbish I might weld together later, some time in the near future. In the artist category, I'm doing quite well, and the reason for that might be that my living situation is not exactly, well, kosher.

Eh, there might be many reasons for why this is happening to me. Clearly, art is a stress reliever, and there is a LOT of stress happening in this old place. I don't know if I'll be able to revive the friendship me and Tom have and you know, when your roommates hate each other, it's not a very comfortable environment. So, to deal with the overwhelming emotions that come with yelling and muttering and rudeness, drawing can help. You should try it.

This bottle of wine is helping, aka my "mild alcoholism." I have work all day tomorrow (ugh) and then I'm off to my parents' house for a couple days to celebrate my li'l bro's graduation. Cheers, Jake. Hopefully, life will deliver fewer demons to your door.

Fuck, I'm drunk.

Somewhere in a seedy bar, a drunk man is eating peanuts.

Things have been a little rocky these last few weeks. My living situation is unhealthy, at best, with two warring roommates and unreliable landlords. This whole lease thing is really starting to get to me, but thankfully, we are going to call the owners on Monday and maybe we can get some of this cleared up. Like, maybe having a move-out date? That would be nice.

On a bright note (because there is ALWAYS a bright note!) the sunset hike is tomorrow! Yayy! I'm super excited to get the group together again and do something FUN for a change. Who am I kidding. I always do fun things :) Buuut this will emulate the funness of the sunrise hike we took a month ago, the last day of exams. And, maybe after, we can go out for drinks or something. Life is good.

Continuity

I have a bottle of wine on my left side and a pile of CDs just waiting to be written to my computer :) So yeah, life is good.

School ended a few weeks ago, and of course, summer boredom has set in. I've been keeping busy with work and fun get-togethers and stuff, but man. It's hard to stay on top of things during an extended break. Thankfully, I have a summer independent study, and hopefully it will be a functional one, and not a waste of time. Tom has made me feel directionless these last few weeks, but I intend on proving him wrong.

So, looks like I'm just gonna keep on truckin'. I'm out.

FML

I have to work twelve hours today.
Not that I'm not grateful that I have a job or anything.
But still.
Twelve hours.
That really, really blows.
Fuck.

*Hack* *Wheeze* *Gasp*

I went to the doctor today to get this cough/congestion checked out, and it was as I expected; I have another bout of pneumonia. Thankfully, I got it checked out in time, because the medication is already starting to work. I feel less achy and less tired than I was over the weekend. Hooray for antibiotics! This cough though, I don't think it's going away too soon. It would be nice, though.

I'm really ready to quit school now. I wish I could just walk out, but obviously, life just isn't that easy and I need to get a degree so I can do something productive with my life (at least that's what's been squeezed into my brain since I was a small child). Thankfully, time has been moving so fast, before I know it I'll have my ph.D, six kids and a house out in the Hamptons.

Hah. Yeah right.

Another Dream and Another Update...like I don't write enough as it is...

Now that I've started a trend in recording my dreams in my blogs, I feel the need to update the world on my latest dream, and in my opinion the greatest dream I've had yet. What happened in my dream that was so great? John Mayer, that's what happened. And by John Mayer, I mean I slept with him in my dream. I don't really remember the actual act, but I know it happened and that it was awesome. I was taking a class taught by Mayer, in a concrete room with him teaching behind a chained fence. After many attempts to get his attention, he finally acknowledged my presence, and from there we got a lot...closer ;) After our little rendez-vous, I went to an awards show held in my old high school's gymnasium. Gary, my sculpture professor, was there as well, and he promptly went ahead to tell John Mayer that he was no longer allowed to teach at the school, presumably because he slept with me (hah). Afterwards, I saw John Mayer with his alleged fiance, who was some blonde chick from Hungary or Norway or somewhere along those lines, speaking to her in her native language. She was crying. My heart soared a little. As I watched them vacate the premise, Mayer waved, and my alarm clock went off.

It was truly a superb dream. The funny thing is, I have never thought about John Mayer at all, ever, for longer than a passing thought. A whole dream dedicated to him must mean something, right? I guess I was more attracted to him than I thought. I hope I have more dreams about him...yeahhhh...

Heh.

Anyways, I just got back from Savannah yesterday afternoon. The trip was pretty good. I got to see some friends and go on a school tour, which was pretty cool all around despite the rain. The drive back was pretty painful but at least I made it, right?

Also, I am making plans to get another job and quit the one I have now. Why? For a number of reasons. The people are nice but they don't treat their employees very well, at all. Especially newbies. I like the job but I went from working Saturdays and Sundays to Sundays and Mondays, and now it looks like I'm working Sundays. I get paid six dollars an hour and get tipped, but to be perfectly honest, Rutland sucks at tipping and Sundays are slow as the dickens. I made nine dollars today, and that was after Mary tipped me out. I know people don't tip her very well either, and she totally does not deserve that. She's the best waitress I know. Guess life's not fair, but seriously. I deserve better treatment. I didn't even get called about my shift changing. Whitney hasn't either. Needless to say, we're both pretty livid. And these new pills I'm taking aren't helping. My hormones are all out of wack and I cry for no reason at all and get super offended really easily. It's a problem, something that I've never really had to deal with before. Hopefully my body chemistry will even itself out and I'll return to my cold, heartless self! Or at least gain some self-control. It's weird being like everybody else.

Ah well.

I should do homework, but nothing's due until Tuesday and I don't have classes till then anyway. I'll just do everything tomorrow.

Funny Dream? Whatever

Last night I had a crazy dream. It consisted of three parts, as far as I can remember. In the first part, it was dark (around 5 a.m. I think, though it was pitch black) and I was at my parent's house. I was the only person awake and, for some reason, was wandering about like some sort of insomniac. I walked into the living room, and even though it was really dark, I could see the forms of the couch and chairs like there was a nightlight. My mom was sleeping on the couch, but her back was turned towards me, and my dad was sleeping on the chair with his legs out sprawling, but I couldn't see his face. I didn't go see my brother even though, somehow, I knew he was curled up in his bed with his Red Sox blanket. As I passed through the living room my foot hit something loud, and everyone suddenly jumped awake and walked around like they were getting ready for their day, even though it was still five in the morning in my dream. Their faces were blank. Weird.

After that, I can only remember jumping to the second part of my dream. I was in my friend Kyle's car, and we were driving down what seemed to be one of the Killington lift lines, except that it was the middle of summer and green with plenty of rocky crags. He was talking about something, desperation or whatever, while dodging people who happened to be standing in his way, most of them people who I've known over the years. I particularly remember one instance when Evan Briggs appeared in the distance. Kyle exclaimed "Evan Briggs! What a hottie!" and promptly tried to run him over with his car. Evan neatly jumped out of the way, got into the car, and we proceeded to drive down the mountain. End of part two.

The last part of the dream is pretty simple to explain. I was sitting in a cafe with a couple friends, eating a sandwich, when one of them asked me "are you sure that sandwich is safe?" to which I replied "of course it is, I checked already!" I then looked down at my hummas sandwich which, by the way, had turned into a thick, juicy, disgusting ham sandwich. Sarah laughed.

The end.

A Brief Update...

Well, it's been a while. A lot has happened in the last few months that I don't know if I can summarize 100%, but you know, great things come out of suffering, so I kicked myself a few times to update. Here I am!

I've finally readjusted to the American way. However, I have been having trouble with restaurant portion sizes and the high contents of sugar and/or salt in the food here. The Brits love their butter, a greasy ingredient I am glad to be away from (as I use very little of it in my daily diet) but the extremely high sodium and cancer-causing sugar substitutes have been leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Thankfully though, I'm moving into an apartment! in April, and I'll finally have control over how much and what kind of food I'll be consuming.

Don't judge me! ...I like kale, okay??

Anyway, yeah, the apartment thing. It's 300 bucks a month, including EVERYTHING. Meaning I don't have to pay for heat, electricity, internet...anything. Maybe laundry. But still! I'm living with two friends, Sarah and Tom. We have a good energy among each other, meaning basically that we're all tools. So it'll be good I think.

Let's see, what else, what else...nothing else? I suppose that's up for my next blog. Good night and good luck, faithful readers. Until next time.

:D

Carry Yourself Well

The roommate situation isn't so bad actually. She's probably taking medication to keep her snoring down and so I don't mind so much. Other than that, not much more to report; though I did just get hired at Sal's. Hooray! Money!

Boredom

Well, I've been back in the 'states for about three weeks now, officially. I think I've finally adjusted, though it is so weird; food here really is sweeter. It's kind of a sucrose-y, sickly texture. Thankfully, my family are die-hard health nuts, so I don't have much to worry about.

I start school in a week. I'm not exactly looking forward to the whole getting-to-know-your-roommate thing...sigh...again. I think Jillian (Jill?) will be my, uh, sixth roommate since I started coming to Castleton. Granted, I lived with two other people last semester, but still. That's a whole bunch of people I've gotten to know in that intimate roommate kind of way. Trust me, it's not something you really want to do with a lot of people. You find out stuff you never, ever wanted to know about that person; eating habits, sleep patterns, medication, internal demons, you get to know all these things. It's not cool.

Despite the whole roommate situation, I think everything will be fine. I'll adjust, I always do. I miss everybody.